A silly little ditty about something that’s been bugging me lately…
Two little windows that allow me to see
Damn things are never close enough for me
So many glasses in my house are now residing
But when I need them *poof* they all go into hiding.
Not to brag but all my life, my vision’s 20/20
All day long, no matter what, clear vision for me aplenty!
And then a blur crept in, it happened step by step
Getting glasses? Okay, I thought…what the heck?
Where are my glasses now, does anybody know?
My computer screen? It’s appears to be a fuzzy thing aglow
Can’t sit down to read my book til I find my specs
A larger font on my Kindle is now what happens next.
Can’t wear them outside when the sun is shining bright
Sunglasses atop of eyeglasses, ugh, I must look a fright!
Can’t check out the ingredients that are written on the label
Can’t read the paper my daughter wrote that’s sitting on the table.
Can’t read that new magazine while waiting for the doc
Can’t spy the current time upon that teeny tiny clock
Can’t read the price upon the tag of that Old Navy shirt
Can’t clean the spot! Why? Because I can’t see the fucking dirt.
Can’t play the new game because I can’t read all the rules
Can’t find the perfect pair that make me look real cool
Can’t change the channel – the tiny buttons on the remote
Can’t figure out what could possibly
be the antidote…
Wearing the damn glasses everywhere I tread
But then I can’t see far away… so put them on my head?
Nothing says “middle age” like glasses on your head
But beady baubly glasses holders are something else I dread.
When you fold and tuck them gently into little spaces
You’ll soon find out exactly why there are such things as cases
In the kitchen! By my bed! Glasses everywhere!
How do people manage to have a single pair?
One point five to two point-oh, I keep moving up the ladder
Loss of vision gradually just makes me all the sadder
Could I be a candidate for a miracle like Lasik?
No, says the eye doctor. You just have to grin and take it.
Getting older comes with it wisdom and maturity
And I think eyesight lends itself to a feeling of security
So I better start to focus on the fact that glasses help
Instead of being angry and feeling sorry for myself.
So when you are feeling pissed off like me and you think your vision’s gone
Just remember how good it feels when you put those damn things on!