I’m Pissed Off That I Now Need to Wear Glasses

A silly little ditty about something that’s been bugging me lately…

Two little windows that allow me to see

Damn things are never close enough for me

So many glasses in my house are now residing

But when I need them *poof* they all go into hiding.

 

Not to brag but all my life, my vision’s 20/20

All day long, no matter what, clear vision for me aplenty!

And then a blur crept in, it happened step by step

Getting glasses?  Okay, I thought…what the heck?

 

Where are my glasses now, does anybody know?

My computer screen?  It’s appears to be a  fuzzy thing aglow

Can’t sit down to read my book til I find my specs

A larger font on my Kindle is now what happens next.

 

Can’t wear them outside when the sun is shining bright

Sunglasses atop of eyeglasses, ugh, I must look a fright!

Can’t check out the  ingredients that are written on the label

Can’t read the paper my daughter wrote that’s sitting on the table.

 

Can’t read that new magazine while waiting for the doc

Can’t spy the current time upon that teeny tiny clock

Can’t read the price upon the tag of that Old Navy shirt

Can’t clean the spot! Why? Because I can’t see the fucking dirt.

 

Can’t play the new game because I can’t read all the rules

Can’t find the perfect pair that make me look real cool

Can’t change the channel – the tiny buttons on the remote

Can’t figure out what could possibly

be the antidote…

 

Except

 

Wearing the damn glasses everywhere I tread

But then I can’t see far away… so put them on my head?

Nothing says “middle age” like glasses on your head

But beady baubly glasses holders are something else I dread.

 

When you fold and tuck them gently into little spaces

You’ll soon find out exactly why there are such things as cases

In the kitchen!  By my bed!  Glasses everywhere!

How do people manage to have a single pair?

 

One point five to two point-oh, I keep moving up the ladder

Loss of vision gradually just makes me all the sadder

Could I be a candidate for a miracle like Lasik?

No, says the eye doctor.  You just have to grin and take it.

 

Getting older comes with it wisdom and maturity

And I think eyesight lends itself to a feeling of security

So I better start to focus on the fact that glasses help

Instead of being angry and feeling sorry for myself.

 

So when you are feeling pissed off like me and you think your vision’s gone

Just remember how good it feels when you put those damn things on!